zoomingupthathill | RYSLIG; ic inbox

[Are you ever just so out of it that you have no clue what's going on until it's already too late and the moment has mostly passed? Because that's how Basil feels, right now.

The first thing he's able to see as he literally reanimates is Max just inches from his face, leaning in close enough that his ears end up perking straight up, quite literally a deer (or in this case, Deerling) in headlights as he leans back against her knees, his fingers pulling at the grass underneath him. Like, she's so close he can feel her frosty breath against his skin.

He feels his throat flex, constricting as he swallows, but before he can think to do or say anything...she leans in.......

And she boops her nose against his.

Basil's response is for a sound to finally escape him: a very soft, pathetic sounding little mmmeeeeh.]

[ The noise sparks a strong protective instinct in Max, which in itself is weird. Her ears shoot up, and her eyes go very wide as she realizes 1) how close she is and 2) that Basil is quite literally cuddled in her lap. ]

I didn't- [ Moving her lips this close, that's bad too, she jerks up. ] I'm sorry- I don't- literally don't know why I did that—

[ If she could blush, she'd be beet red. ]

Edited (wrong beet) 2023-07-04 01:57 (UTC)

A-ahh...uhh...

[Basil doesn't...really know why he did what he just did either! Someone help.

He's still laying where Max dragged him, because he has no strength to sit up on his own just yet. He...doesn't even realize yet that he's not alive anymore. When Max said "you're becoming like me", well...it hasn't fully sunk in. It probably won't until he notices just how much of him has suddenly changed.]

It...it's okay! I...

[Basil has to close his eyes for a moment, a brief wave of dizziness threatening to overwhelm him. It's half due to the sudden change, and half because his head simply doesn't weigh as much as he's used to. The added weight from his larger horns and snout is just...absent, suddenly.

And as he lifts one of his hands, tentatively touching his face with it, he's starting to realize something has happened here.]

W....am I....?

[Now he's actually trying to sit up, even though he's shaking head-to-toe from the exertion.]

[ Embarrassment be damned, the moment she feels Basil start to shake, Max leans back down, this time taking hold of Basil's arms and helping him sit up, slowly. ]

Whoa, whoa, easy. You're gonna feel kinda out of it, 'til your body adjusts.

[ He has his face back. Max was starting to get more used to seeing, well...the snout. How weird is that? ]

[The world is still swimming into focus, and it's made worse by the way everything swings about dizzyingly as he sits up. Having Max there to steady him helps, at least...with Basil blinking hard to try to encourage his vision to correct itself. Everything has a subtle blur to it, like he just can't focus properly...

In the end, though, the first thing he finally settles on are his legs. They're stretched out in front of him, half bent at the knee. Somehow his clothing didn't get horrifically torn by the changes- perhaps because they're tailored to work for a Gargoyle, less so for a wingless monster as now the back has a useless gaping hole in it- meaning that he's able to fully focus on the deer legs he now has, completely lacking in any proper feet or digits or...anything. They're just hooves attached to furry green stilts.

...and they're. Partially decayed.]

H....e...mm-eeh!?!

[Basil brings both hands to his face, touching it all over until he reaches his ears, squeezing them briefly before he reaches up even further to touch his horns...no, his hair. His HAIR. He has hair??]

I- I ch-changed! But-...!

[I want to be able to spend more time with Max.

...]

[ He keeps making that sound, and it's got Max alert and attentive all at once. There's actually a part of her brain that thinks it sounds...incredibly cute, and she does not know how to address that at all. ]

Yeah, you're- holy cow—! [ Max has turned her head to where Basil's looking. Sees his decaying leg. Becomes aware of the bones at his collar.

Realizes that's a bad thing to say, she's just a little on edge from it all. Basil dying, the change and revival, the—thing she just did for some stupid reason— ]

It, uhh- Was it...something you said to Mana? You went today, right?

Y...yeah. I...I asked her...

[...

Max reminding Basil gives him a chance to think about what he said to her. Like, really think about it. See, he didn't exactly know what he was asking for at the time, just...you know. Something to help with his weakness to the sun. The part about Max was added unconsciously, and as a result...

Oh. Oh no.

Basil looks...both appropriately stunned and embarrassed all at the same time, and perhaps he's lucky that he's dead because he'd be blushing so fiercely his entire head would be flushed at this point. He brings his hands back up to his face, feeling it a little more deliberately now. His hands...he has his fingers back. The scoop-like claws are gone, replaced with fingers tipped with much smaller claws. Claws that pull through his hair, which is a little more...straw-like and lifeless than he remembers. He pulls his legs a little closer to himself with some difficulty, looking from his knees to his torso, then properly down...

His eyes settle on the now gaping cavity in his chest, and he has to cover his mouth with his hand. Max can't see it at the angle she's at, as you can only really get a good look from directly above. But even with how dark it is, there's enough moonlight filtering in for Basil to see the openings past his ribcage...and the organs beneath. His lungs. His heart.

All of them motionless. Lifeless.]

[ Max waits for him to explain. There's probably a pretty simple place Mana got screwed up, and Max isn't sure if they can do anything about it...but maybe if she offers some of her coins, too? She'll offer, once Basil's done...

...but instead he trails off, getting reacquainted with his body. She can't really blame him there, either. And it gives her a little time to get her brain under control. What the hell was that? And why does just sniffing the air make her feel like she's covered in goosebumps? Like...she's got tingles all over, just from being near him. Like, okay, Max knows- she's figured out by now she has an incredibly inconvenient and somewhat guilt-inducing crush on him, but seriously? He just died literally on top of her, that is not supposed to be a turn-on!!

She's still supporting Basil as he gets his bearings, so she feels when his hand moves abruptly. ]

What? What's...

[ And she tilts her head and trails off herself. As she catches just the briefest glance at the chasm open in Basil's skin.

There's a hole in him. There's multiple holes. ]

...I'm gonna kill that witch.

[As much as Basil is feeling nauseas from seeing his own insides, it does at least distract from him having to actually tell Max what he asked Mana for. At least...in more specific terms. He's having a weird enough day as it is, he does not need to add embarrassing himself horribly onto that!

Nevertheless...it's clear just by looking at him that Basil is rattled. He's been completely changed into a new monster, and his body is not yet accustomed to the feeling. He's freezing cold, for one, unused to no longer being impervious for the most part to temperature since he's just so hot all the time. That, and every so often Max might notice the way he'll suddenly gasp like he's been startled, but the truth behind that is the fact that he's not used to just...not breathing. He keeps scaring himself by the way his body simply isn't telling him to take a breath anymore, and its giving him this recurring awful sensation in his chest that he does not like at all, thanks.

Basil whines a little under his breath in the silence that follows, and when he exhales, he can feel how icy cold his own breath is.]

M-max. Just now....d...did I...?

[When he blacked out...]

[ It doesn't feel natural, how cold Basil is. Max has gotten used to touching him being like a shock to her system, something teetering on the edge of dangerous that's come to give her a rush. Now... Well, the rush is still there, but it's vastly different. The warmth is gone. On top of that, the way he's...gasping, it sounds so familiar. Like how she had, trying to adjust to her body's new normal in the early days post-death.

All at once, she wants to warm him up. To save him from this. To restart his dead heart. But if that was something Max could do, she would've for herself a long time ago.

Her grip on his arm tightens. ]

Y-yeah. Yeah, you did.

[ He died, right before her, right in her arms. She felt him stop breathing. ]

[Basil has to just. Sit there, for a long few moments, letting that understanding sink in. He'd been feeling bad before, but after he'd "fainted"...he didn't remember anything else. It was so sudden he didn't even feel any sort of pain, he was just...gone the moment his heart stopped. And that is mortifying for a number of reasons, to the point where Basil is struck numb by it. He doesn't even know what to say.

Eventually, though...what he does end up saying- murmuring, really- is probably exactly what Max could have expected.]

I-...I'm s-so sorry, Max. I...I'm...

[Though perhaps it was not so personal as this, Basil has seen death before. He's handled a corpse. He has looked the macabre in the eyes, and that was long before he ever came to Ryslig.

Subjecting someone he cares about, especially someone like Max, to the same...is probably his worst nightmare.]

[ He just died, and he's apologizing.

It hurts. Max feels the hurt radiate out from her heart and seize all of her. It doesn't matter that, in this situation—if she ever sees Lucas again—she would be having the same reaction, mortification and shame over putting someone so close to her through that. It doesn't matter, because right now, she remembers how terrifying it was to lay dying with no way to stop it.

Without waiting a second longer, Max wraps her arms around Basil, effectively hugging him from behind as tight as she can. Embarrassment from the strange action she took when he woke is wiped away, much like when she crawled onto his bed to hold him while his initial Gargoyle changes proved unbearable. ]

Don't you dare. Alright? Don't.

[ Her lips murmur against the fur of his neck. ]

[There's really no room for embarrassment here, because it's all taken up by having to grabble with the horror of what just happened to them. Basil has weathered a lot of awful things in Ryslig. From becoming a Shade, to dealing with his changes, turning to stone for the first time, and nearly mutating into a tree...but even with all of that, he never died. And Basil's relationship with death is as complicated as it is tenuous. He's terrified of it, for one. It's torn his friend group apart. It's loomed over his every waking moment, and had become an uncomfortably present factor of his life as his Grandmother struggled through her illness. It was the thing that tore his innocence away at a too-young age, leaving him forced to pick up the pieces.

Basil has also craved it. In times of desperation, of weakness...during times when he felt out of his mind, Basil wanted to disappear. He'd imagined what it would be like to no longer have to suffer through the guilt and every day torment, and to finally just...rest. It's a tempting, if awful, alternative.

And then...he's been left to wonder if he's even alive in the first place. The reality of his status back home had been left up in the air since he got here. Did he drown? He doesn't know. He has no way of knowing. Maybe, even if he did go back home, there'd be no home to go back to. No body. No Basil.

He'd never truly had to experience that here in Ryslig, where that terror, that temptation, had begun to fade in the wake of real, tangible people he could be properly supported by. And it was so...sudden. So simple. One moment he was fine, and the next...he wasn't. Here, anymore.

Max holds onto him, and Basil just continues to sit there for another few moments, too shell-shocked to do anything. Normally they're unable to be this close this easily, due to their differences. But like this...the cold doesn't really change how cold Basil already is. Max is soft, and Basil is soft. Neither of them breathe. They're perfectly still, like two real deer might be curled up in the undergrowth, hiding from predators. And as he sits there, it's Basil's first realization that he can't...properly cry. With a body that is no longer alive, the tears that well up in his eyes feel weird. Not right, somehow. He gasps, but not because he has to, it's because he has no other choice. He curls up with his knees pulled to his chest, making it that much easier for Max to wrap her arms around him.

He doesn't say anything else. He just weeps, quietly.]

[ Max has...depressingly gotten used to crying like this. Nothing feels right about her anymore. Her mouth is always dry, except when she's craving meat. Her body feels wrung out and dry, in consequence, after she cries, until she replenishes it with either plain water or...meaty juices. When she sits in the same position for too long, her blood settles, and it makes it appear like she has bruises on the backs of her arms, legs, back. She's felt it after every single moment they've just sat with each other, Basil's scales against Max's fur leaving it electrifyingly hot. Sometimes that would warm her blood in her veins enough so it felt less like the sludgy, mossy slurry it's become—but it never got it moving.

Nothing gets it moving, except for warm, fresh meat.

Now, there's no chance of it even heating up, but it's comfortable. There's no niggling warning reminding her of what may happen should he get too warm... Though, there hasn't been one of those in awhile. When Max needed help escaping the golf course, she'd asked for Basil to use his fire on her. She's trusted him for some time, and the fact that he can no longer literally burn her changes nothing.

But it's comfortable. Despite the fact that it shouldn't be, with their positioning. They'll sit there as long as Basil needs to, in Max's opinion. He's still sort of sitting against her legs, partly in her lap, but she doesn't make any attempt to change that if he doesn't. Something about being so close like this feels right in ways that almost calm her. She keeps inhaling his scent, even though she doesn't need to, because she can't bring herself to stop.

At this angle, her chin tucked into his shoulder, head slightly tilted so her horn doesn't stab into him, when Max momentarily opens her wet eyes, she can catch a greater glimpse of the empty cavity at Basil's collar. That it's not just darkness, it's everything. Is that what she looks like inside too? Has moss taken up everything? If she cut herself open... Would what she see?

It's a distressing thought. It would be for anyone. So Max wants to bury it, so she can focus more on Basil, on finding some way to help him—

And perhaps that's why it's so easy for the instincts to take over.

They've been sitting there for awhile, her arms around his shoulders, her nose nuzzling his neck. Eyes closed once more, she doesn't even realize it when her tongue, more deerlike than human, slides out of her mouth and starts licking his fur, slowly and gentle. ]

[Realistically, logically, Basil knows that what's happened to him is temporary. It should be temporary, shouldn't it? He's seen this happen to others before, like Nanami, who would change what she was fairly often trying to decide what kind of monster she wanted to be on a more permanent basis. And Fugo, who changed his monster type permanently, had to pay a lot more than the meager amount Basil gave for something else entirely. The misunderstanding had merely been that: a misunderstanding. And now Basil feels incredibly silly for going to Mana without actually having Fugo help him like he kept saying he would.

It's all just. A very, very embarrassing mistake, and he feels in part like he deserves this for making it. He made this terrible bed, and now he has to lay in it.

Yet. Yet...Basil's feeling what Max is feeling right now, too. His instincts as a Gargoyle were immensely strong in pretty much every aspect he could have an instinct about something, whether it was for hunting, or digging burrows, or eating rocks. That doesn't seem to have changed with his shift to Waldgeist, because their closeness is...comforting, moreso than it usually is even. His hearing and sense of smell have changed as well- he can smell Max a lot easier than he ever could, and she smells nice (she always smelled nice, but it's nicer now)- and that urge to be close has increased ten fold. He feels anxious about being out in the open, like something might swoop down on them and carry them both away, yet safe with Max all at the same time.

It's confusing. Overwhelming. He's not sure a this point if he's crying because of how terrified he is, or if it's just a mixture of everything clashing together and making him feel crazy. He just knows that it's easier to let it happen than it is to try to fight it, so...he does. With his chin pressing hard into his knees, too-long fangs jutting into his bottom lip, he cries. He's thankful, at least, that Max isn't saying anything about it...but she never has, has she? She...]

...!?

[Basil's ears perk, the moment he feels something against the back of his neck. Gentle and soft, yet quick and easily missed at first. It makes some part of his brain immediately go haywire, his tail wiggling in the now too-large hole in his overalls. His hands tighten their grip on his knees, and this time when he gasps, it's a lot softer than the sudden gulps of air he'd been taking a few minutes ago.

It doesn't even feel weird. It doesn't register as that, because the new way his brain is mapped out says that he's being groomed. Grooming is good. Comforting. He's safe. Nothing is going to happen to him, he's safe.

The human part of his brain, which is still hyperventilating somewhere in there, is having itself a field day trapped underneath the deer sitting on it. Just.

Screaming.]

[ It's working. Basil sounds less upset.

That does nothing to discourage the deer brain, which says to dip down lower to his shoulders...but Basil's shoulders sort of give way to the gaping hole in him. Tongue reaches nothing, redirects its path, shoulders won't do, let's go further up.

She nuzzles the side of his head with her own as she continues, pronghorn's horn rubbing against his grassy hair. Her instincts say she shouldn't have to stretch her neck so much, or...really at all. They can't sort out what the issue is (no snout), however, so she continues on, unbothered. This is a normal and natural process, grooming his fur. Carefully and meticulously, her tongue runs up his neck. Further, further, until her nose is in his hair, and her mouth is at the side of his jaw— ]

[ —And her tongue is on his jawbone and that's skin, that's human skin, so the human brain turns back on and Max's eyes snap open.

She withdraws immediately, jerking back. ]

Holy crap— [ Oh, her tongue is tingling. Tired. It's not...usually used like that— ] I am- I don't know, why I just—

[ This is somehow less horrific than her usual nightmares! But it sure seems like a nightmare all the same! ]

[Oh, this is so much. There is so much happening for Basil to process that he thinks he might just die. He is going to pass away for real this time and there is nothing the Fog God can do to stop it. Because if this were just his normal brain at work it'd be different, but it's not. The instincts have overpowered everything, rendering him completely useless and unhelpful in this endeavor. If he were ever meant to help snap Max out of it, well...somebody would have to snap him out of it first, because he's too relaxed to do anything, while buzzing beneath the surface at the same time. It's definitely one of the weirder things he's experienced, yet he's pretty sure he'd take it over an existential crisis any day.

......buuut that doesn't take away from the fact that this is Max, a girl that Basil definitely feels Some Kind Of Way About, is grooming his fur like a real deer would and the signals it sends to his brain are...quite frankly all over the fucking place. Lest anyone forget (and Basil sure as HELL has not forgotten, he probably never will) when Max kissed his cheek at the Mall, because even back then it seemed very much like an appreciative, impulsive sort of gesture, nothing...nothing for him to get too worked up about...haha...........

But now this is happening, and he's pretty sure he's going to vibrate into another dimension.

In the end though, it's Max herself who ends up breaking the spell just as she skirts from fur to skin, and that, too, is when Basil finally moves away just a little, scrambling a bit to give her some space. He can't get very far, his legs don't seem to want to work, so if anything he just ends up knelt in front of her with his knees back down on the ground, one of his hands clutching the front of his shirt while the other touches the side of his face.]

N- ..n-no! It...it's okay!

[??????]

It- I- [Come on, say SOMETHING coherent.] It was...nice!

[Not that coherent]

I mean- It was....um...c...c...calm...ing? Like I didn't....mind-

[...he stops talking and just covers his face with both hands.]

Edited 2023-07-08 04:05 (UTC)

[ It was nice?!

It's Max's turn to be certain she's about to die again!

In this position, Basil can see every single mortified scrunch of her face, so she drops her eyes to the warm grass. ]

Calming, sure- that's what I, uh- I think-

[ Her legs are still kind of sprawled out. Max is just going to...pull them back. She'd gotten used to Basil's weight on them.

It felt very nice for her, too. Like the most relaxed she'd been since Steve disappeared. But admitting that feels...

Well, traitorous, for one, because there's no way she can ignore just how close it feels to the kiss she'd given him at the mall. But... She was influenced by those mushrooms growing inside her, then. And... And this-

It was the instincts, ones that she's never felt so strongly before. Maybe... The sudden urge to touch noses was that too? Is it because she lives with Basil? ...Yes, that's got to be it, the reason it's all so overwhelming suddenly. ]

Okay. It was just- we don't to- talk about it.

[Basil nods. Frantically.]

W-we don't...talk about it.

[This never happened. It never happened. Which means it's fine.

It's fine.

...or, rather, it would be if he could stop thinking about it. But he can't, and he won't. Possibly never, and especially not now that he no longer thinks the same way as he did as a Pangolin. Now, he thinks...the way Max does.

He shakes his head a little as he pulls his hands from his face, looking across the space between them nervously as he sort of awkwardly wraps his arms around himself, clearly a little unsure what he should do with himself now at this point. All of that shocked him out of crying, yet now he feels about as dry as Max imagines he must. He's not quite so tense as he was before, but he's still shivering a little bit.

He can feel the wind blowing through his hair, though, and he can't properly expressed how much he missed it.]

Ma...maybe...we should go back inside...

[ She's just not going to talk about it!

Or how her tail just kind of. Keeps lightly swishing from side to side, not too fast or sudden. Just light movement, signally that her body is completely at ease right now, despite the fact that the human in her is screaming internal.

Max pushes it all down, taking note of how Basil's shivering and scrambling to her feet. ]

Maybe- but... Are you gonna be okay with, like... With being like this? I've got coins, I can... Maybe if I pay her a bunch, and refuse to leave, she'll turn you into something else?

[Is he going to be okay? Uh, well....he doesn't know! Not really! Probably not? But the thought of making Max use her own coins to fix his own mistake...he's shaking his head no before he can think better of it. Also, he's...he fears Mana might tell Max what he told her, and just thinking about that makes him want to sink into the earth's core.]

It...it'll wear off eventually. It's okay.

[It's not. But...it will have to be. Basil wants it to be. He feels like he's caused enough trouble today already.

Reflexively, as Max gets up, Basil will stand to follow her. Should be easy and normal, standing up, but the very instant he tries to put any sort of pressure on his hooves, he immediately drops back down into a sit in the grass, his knees knocking together.]

[ Max opens her mouth to protest, but then down Basil goes so she drops right back as well. ]

Hey- whoa, hey. [ It doesn't matter that she's embarrassed, more than that she's worried.

It doesn't feel good to see someone stumbling around like she did...does, on a bad day. ]

It's okay. I did that too. Just...lean on me, okay?

[It's difficult. Basil feels...so out of control of his own limbs that he's not even sure how he's going to stay upright, let alone take proper steps. He's only just now realizing how truly awful it is to no longer have proper feet, to be permanently tethered to the sensation of walking on your tiptoes all the time, if it's even really comparable.

Still though, when Max moves back down to help him stand a second time, he'll allow her to help him up. He has to grip her elbow tight to keep from tumbling back down again, standing a bit pigeon-toed even once he's back to his hooves again. It feels like there's not a large enough surface for him to walk on, somehow...]

S-sorry...like this?

[ Probably, after her feet literally fell off during that beach trip so long ago, Basil caught sight of Max practicing walking on her hooves, and she took many, many tumbles. So it's no surprise that she has a good idea of how to correct any mistakes. ]

Almost. Point them a little more forward... See, like I'm doing?

[ While she doesn't start walking, Max raises a hoof and sets it down again. ]

Everything's gonna feel a little lighter when you move your legs, especially at first.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, MADMAX. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 005.08.019.85 * MADMAX has joined 005.08.019.85 <MADMAX> do your thing or whatever <MADMAX>** don't be dumb

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cw: decay

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cw: gore mention

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major omori spoilers

ST4 spoilers

omori spoilers/cw: complicated feelings towards death, suicidal ideation

cw: cannibalism talk, hypothetical vivisection what a fucking tag to put

cw: self depreciation

1/2

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cw: mention of past fungal body horror

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